Saying Grace vs. Speaking Grace

When we pray before meals, we sometimes call it "Saying Grace." But recently, I started thinking about the difference between saying grace and speaking grace.

Have you ever thought about how you would sound if someone secretly followed you around and recorded everything you said, and then played it back to you? Well, our children are sometimes like little tape recorders. I recently heard one of my boys scolding his younger brother and it occurred to me that he sounded just like me. Only I didn't like it so much hearing it from his mouth. I started to wonder what messages I am communicating to my children with my words. Sadly, they have not always been gracious words.

Often many of the words that come out of my mouth are words of correction and negative statements. "Don't run down the stairs so fast!" "Don't push your brother." They are often conditional statements. "If you don't do your homework now, you will not be allowed to play video games for a week." "We will not go outside to play unless you first pick up your toys."

Colossians 4:6 instructs us to speak words of grace, in fact to always speak graciously. "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." God is full of grace, which means that if His Spirit lives is us, we will reflect grace. God's grace means that He loves and gives without putting conditions on us. We don't have to do anything to make Him love us. So we too should love without making people jump through hoops. The words that God speaks to us through the Bible are words of encouragement. And when He corrects us, He doesn't beat us over the head with how horrible we are. Instead, his correction always includes the hope for change and is what leads us to repentance. So our words should be words that encourage and empower our children, not make them shrink back in fear and condemnation.

I'd like to say that I've been able to change all of my words to be more gracious, but it is an ongoing process and struggle for me each day. The first thing to pop into my head is usually the exact opposite of graciousness. But it is my prayer that over time, God will enable me to always (or more often than not) speak words that reflect His grace and are an encouragement to those who hear them.