Fall Thoughts

Fall is officially upon us.  Our part of the country is already experiencing the vibrant change of colors followed by the slow flutter of leaves. The air is brisk as we wake up each morning.  I've already made myself a few mugs of hot chocolate and gotten out my fluffy slippers.  The kids are already thinking about the upcoming holidays, and I start thinking of decorating the house.  Something about this season always makes me want to do something creative... the find seasonal crafts and special projects for myself and the kids.  From pumpkin carving to handprint turkeys, there are so many ways to celebrate the season.  

Strangely enough, we seem to spend more time outdoors than we do in the summer.  The bicycles come out of the garage and we take family walks around the neighborhood.  The boys are make piles of rocks outside, imagining they are the humble beginnings of a mighty fortress. Piles of leaves add to the allure of the outdoors.

I love how our even our palettes seem to change with the seasons.  Gone is our hankering for the taste of mint and citrus. This is the time of year when we crave soups and stews, warm bread from the oven, sweet potatoes and squash.  Maybe there is something about fall food that reminds us of home, of meals around the kitchen table, of thanksgivings and homecomings.  

As I think about what I love most about fall, it is that it is centered around home.  Summer is made for roaming, and we take off like birds in flight, eager to explore something new and unchartered.  But fall brings us back home.  We are grounded again, brought back to stay for awhile, kept by books and school and schedules to maintain.   My soul welcomes the routine of home.  We will hunker down as a family and enjoy our time together with our mugs of cocoa and our warm slippers...until Spring comes again and awakens in us our sense of adventure.      

Image Credit: Karen Lidbeck-Brent.

Couture Cupcakes

Have you noticed how couture cupcakes bakeries are popping up all over the place?  I guess there is just something irresistable about a miniature cake that can be dressed to the nines and packed with all notions of sugary goodness! 

We have a delightful little cupcake shop in our neighborhood and the other day I stopped by to see what all the fuss was about.  After shelling out a cool $26, I walked out the door carrying a lovely pink box with exactly six cupcakes inside.  They were gorgeous, no doubt, but after my family quickly polished them off, it left me wishing that I could make my own.  Of course, such delighful confections take time and skill, but I'd like to give it a try. 

There are a host of books with beautiful cupcake designs  and detailed instructions for recipes and decoration.  The Bake Me I'm Yours cupcake books are a great place to start.  They are a series of small books with full cover pictures and step-by-step instructions, though I have to say, they are not easy for a novice baker like myself.  Zoe Clark's Bake Me I'm Yours... Cupcake Love is my favorite of the series.  Her cupcakes are exquisite and truly a work of art!

Image Credit: Zoe Clark's Bake Me I'm Yours... Cupcake Love.

A String of Pearls and a Touch of Blush

Genevieve Antoine Dariaux wrote in her seminal book A Guide to Elegance, "There is one piece of jewellery that is equally becoming to everybody, lovely with almost every ensemble, appropriate for almost every occasion, and indispensible in every woman's wardrobe... long live the pearl necklace, true or false, from our first date until our last breath!" 

I came across this lovely necklace from the Pemberley Collection (apparently named after Mr. Darcy's estate in  Pride and Prejudice.)  It is a fresh update on the enduring classic of a simple string of pearls.  I love the fabric roses in a perfect hue of blush.   It's modern but very elegant at the same time.    

The Rhythm of Family Life

After a summer of late mornings and delayed bedtimes, we headed back to school this week... and by school, I mean homeschool in our bonus room.  Although the boys were reluctant to start, after the first morning my oldest son said, "I'm actually glad to have school again."


"What do you mean?" I asked him. 


"Well, I like having something regular to do in the mornings."  I raised my eyebrows and looked at him for more than a moment. 


I have to admit that as much as I love summer, each year as the summer comes to an end, I start to crave the regularity of the school year again.  I enjoy the rhythm of a normal day at home.  I like knowing what we will do each day.  Although he didn't put it into those exact words, I think that's what my son was saying too.  There is peace and security in regular routines and expected schedules.   One of the things we as mothers can provide our children is the safe structure of home.       


There is a verse in the Bible that instructs us to "aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, to work with your own hands... " (I Thessalonians 4:11).  That is a pretty stark contrast with how the world encourages us to live.  A quiet, stable life?  That sounds pretty boring!  Shouldn't we be seeking to become exceptional people and likewise produce exceptional offspring? 


Now, certainly, God does give people extraordinary gifts and special talents.  And we should be giving our best to use those talents to bring Him glory.  But I don't think we are to diminish the importance of the ordinary in a quest for the extraordinary. 

There is a rhythm to family life and somewhere in the ordinary, unspectacular happenings of the day, our children are making their most important memories.  I think we often think it is the large, extraordinary things that we must provide our children to make their childhood special.  Sometimes those spectacular events do occur, and sometimes, though we try to manufacture them, they don't turn out as we imagine.  Besides, I think perhaps it is the mundane, day-to-day things we do that matter more in the long run anyway.

The writer Thomas Moore said, "The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul that their simplicity might suggest."   So, sit on the floor with your children and watch them draw.  Make them breakfast and talk about the day to come.  It might be those moments they remember the most.  


Image Credit: Pottery Barn Kids.

Afternoon Tea Sandwiches

Afternoon tea sandwiches are usually dainty and easily consumed in less than three bites.   Here are a few ideas for traditional and not-sotraditional sandwiches.

TRADITIONAL CUCUMBER SANDWICHES
1.  Butter slices of white bread. 
2.  Cut cucumber slices very thin and sprinkle lighting with salt.  Place between slices of bread. 
3.  Garnish with a dash of paprika.
4.  Serve immediately to prevent dampening.

For a modern twist on the traditional cucumber sandwich, visit The Hot Plate for their beautiful gluten-free cucumber tea sandwiches pictured here.  

EGG SALAD SANDWICHES
1.  Hard boil eggs.
2.  Once eggs are cool, cut up eggs into small pieces.
3.  Stir mayonaise into eggs.
4.  Add cut celery or green onion, and a dash of curry powder if desired.
5.  Spread on white bread.
6.  Cut off crusts and cut into quarters.

WATERCRESS SANDWICHES
1.  Clean and dry watercress leaves.
2.  Spread salted butter on each side of white bread. 
3.  Place watercress in the middle between slices of buttered bread.
4.  Cut off crusts and cut into quarters or use cookie cutters to cut into shapes.


SMOKED SALMON AND CREAM CHEESE SANDWICHES
1.  Spread cream cheese on each slice of bread.
2.  Cut up smoked salmon into thin slices and place between slices of bread. 
3. For added visual appeal, roll the edges of your sandwich into plain yogurt and then into parsley.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"  I love this saying so much that I recently had a little lemonade party to celebrate it.  (Notice the cute little lemon jello slices taken from a previous post on Jello Slices.)   

But most of all, I have been thinking about that catchy little phrase.  I recently read an article about optimism and the author made the point that optimists are not just "positive-thinkers" but proactive doers.  What sets apart optimists from pessimists are their can-do attitude.  It isn't so much that optimists always believe the future to be rosy.  But when faced with adversity, they have faith that they can conquer the challenge and they go ahead and take action.  Pessimists will look at a problem and often not do anything about it because they don't believe anything they can do will help to solve it.            

Hebrews 11 is like a hall of fame for those people in the Bible who had great faith. The interesting thing is that it describes each person as doing something by faith.  They didn't just believe and wait for things to happen.  By faith, they acted.  By faith, Abel offered a sacrifice to God.  By faith, Noah built an ark.  By faith, Abraham left his home and went into another country.  They all acted in faith. 

Sometimes life challenges us in such a way that we have to act even if we don't feel like it.  Most of the time, if we can proactively work towards a solution, we will begin to feel better.  Passivity, on the other hand, neither produces results nor positive feelings.  Sometimes passivity can even be a sign that we don't trust that God will take care of us.  So the next time life gives you lemons, decide to put your faith in God and face your fears head on.  Then make some lemonade and throw yourself a party! 

Represent God's Grace

If you took a survey among non-Christians and asked them what they did not like about Christians, I'd venture to say that among the top answers would be, "Christians are ungracious."  Words like "judgmental" or "hypocritical" might also come to mind, but the idea remains the same.  A good number of non-Christians are turned off to Christianity mainly because of their experience with Christians.  Let's admit it.  We haven't always done a very good job representing God to people who don't know Him.   

The primary word to describe how God treats us is "grace."  God has lavished his grace upon us in such a way that we should be reflections of grace and gratitude.  And as Christians, we should be giving away grace in bucketl oads at a time.  But I've found that grace, while easy to receive, can be very hard to give away. 

Customer service jobs are one in which grace is part of the actual nature of the position.  The motto, "The customer is always right" doesn't mean that the customer truly is always right, but that the customer is treated in a way which dignifies his concerns and fully addressed them in a way that he walks away from his experience a more loyal customer than he had been before.   

In my experience working in a customer service department of a company, I have learned that showing grace sometimes goes against every fiber of my natural makeup.  For one thing, the only time a customer contacts a company is to express a complaint.   Rarely will a customer ever email or call just to thank a company or tell them what a great job they did.  They are usually calling with a problem and let's face it, they are usually angry. 

I once had a customer who was absolutely livid at what ended up amounting to $0.36 (which he had been charged by a third party company, no less.)  Thirty-six cents!  You can't even buy a postage stamp for $0.36!  Of course, we ended up reimbursing him and then some, but he still was not satisfied.  You can't please everyone all of the time, and then there are just some people who you can't please at all (but that is another topic for another time).    But the point of my interaction with the customer was that although I wanted to tell him he was completely overblowing the situation over a mere $0.36, I had to remain gracious and even apologetic.  I had to do so because I wasn't representing myself, but the company I worked for.  I was the only human interaction he had with the company and as such, I was responsible for how he ultimately viewed his experience with the company. 

II Corinthians 5:30 says, "Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God."  We are the primary means by which God makes his appeal to other human beings.  We represent God's grace and mercy to the world.  So let's live in such a way that the world will recognize Jesus in us.

Dining and Living Alfresco

I love dining outside in the summertime.  There is something about being outdoors that heightens the experience of even a simple meal.  The fresh air, cool breeze in the evening... it all makes me feel like I've gone on vacation in my own backyard. 

There are scientific reasons why spending time outdoors is beneficial to our emotional health.  Our bodies were created to need natural sunlight.  Vitamin D from the sun is essential for our brains to maintain adequate serum levels, which affect our emotional wellbeing.

Previous generations spent much more time outside. People worked on farms, in fields, and as hunters and gatherers.  , in communities with other people.  Our modern society has in great part retreated from nature.  The average American today spends 95% of his time indoors.  Experts suggest we spend 25% less time outdoors that we did only 25 years ago.  We are confined to inside offices and stay cloistered in our homes, having little connection with nature as well as other human beings.  Research has shown that taking a walk outside can be as effective in treating mild depression as antidepressants.  Interestingly enough, walking indoors did not have the same results in groups studied.  

So, make an effort to spend some more time outdoors this summer.  Pack a picnic and find outdoor activities that the whole family can enjoy.  Enjoy the beauty of God's creation!   

The beautiful outdoor setting pictured here is from Martha Stewart Weddings.

Watermelon Jello Slices

Continuing with the theme of keeping cool this summer, I discovered some great ideas online.  Look at these adorable Jello slices.  You can do this with Lemons, Limes or Oranges.   Here are the basic instructions. 

1.  Cut your fruit in half and carve out the inside so that you just have a shell.

2.  Prepare your flavored jello according to the instructions on the package AND add a packet of unflavored gelatin to make the jello firmer. 

3.  Pour the jello into the halved fruit and cool in the refrigerator.

4.   Once the jello is set, then you can cut them into slices.

You can use lemon jello for lemon slices, orange for orange slices and lime for lime.  Or use watermelon jello with limes for a whimsical dessert.  Decorate with edible "seeds" (candy, herbs, etc.)  A lot of people have used this idea for making shots, but you can just use water or juice in the jello mixture for a kid-friendly summertime treat. 

Visit The Family Kitchen to see the recipe for the beautiful Watermelon Jello Shooters pictured here. 

Summer Slushies

The long hot days of summer are upon us, and I am always trying to find ways to keep the kids cool!  We have been eating our fair share of popsicles and italian ice, but have also started making our own fruit slushies. 

Our family seems to have an unending supply of fruit that is just about to become overripe, so I have found that making slushies and shakes are the perfect way to use up that fruit.  It is also a great way to sneak extra servings of fresh fruit into picky eaters.  All it takes is a good blender, some ice and a few spoonfuls of sugar.  We have made delicious slushies using peaches, watermelon and strawberries.   For milkshakes, you just need to add some milk or a few scoops of vanilla ice cream. 

To make the beautiful Watermelon milkshakes pictured above, visit Foodess for an easy, delicious recipe.

High Tea for Alice

When it comes to entertaining, presentation is equally, if not more, important than food itself. Table settings and decor set the mood for parties and can transform even store bought food into something beautiful. I have always been fond of vintage china and glassware. They are both elegant and beautiful without being overly formal.

I recently discovered a lovely Etsy boutique appropriately named "High Tea for Alice" that takes lovely European china plates and teacups and turns them into tiered dessert stands. Can you just imagine serving little tea cakes and sandwiches on something like this? They carefully select each unique plate and coordinate them with others to make a brand new set. The results are simply delightful. They come in a variety of colors and styles, and also take custom orders.

Visit High Tea for Alice for "exquisitely indulgent, remarkably heirloom, extravagantly refined, decoratively sublime & cheerfully divine stands to fill and feather your own personal wonderland."

Keeping Childhood Alive

Recently, I was having a conversation with some fellow moms when the topic of extra-curricular activities came up. We were a varied group of mothers, with kids in public, private and homeschool. But although we lead quite different lives, we discovered that we all had something in common. Each family was involved in a minimum of three extracurricular activities, be it music, sports, dance, church activities, and the like. One family was involved in a whopping 8 extracurriculars! The funny thing was that none of us could remember being involved in that many activities when we were children. I had piano lessons as a child, and a few gymnastics lessons but I certainly don't remember my parents orchestrating their lives around a multitude of extra-curricular activities.

I left the conversation wondering, "Is childhood becoming an endangered species?" Children today are much busier than children just one generation ago. They are faced with an overwhelming amount of information and choices. Just think of all the options our children have when they walk through a toy store. Not so long ago, the same toys were kept on store shelves for years. Now, toys are retired almost as quickly as new ones are released. And while today's toys are more complex than toys of the past, they seem to require far less imagination.

It is a brave new world in which our children are growing up. I'm not one to glamorize the past, but I fear that we have lost some of the wonder of childhood. The pace of childhood today is so much quicker than it was in the past. Childhood is supposed to provide time and space for wonder and imagination. It is supposed to be time for catching caterpillars and making mud pies.

Though our kids have rooms full of toys, have they become less able to entertain themselves? Have we begun to view childhood only as a preparation for adulthood? Are we enrolling them in all sorts of extra-curriculars in hopes of giving them an edge on their peers? Has parenting become a competitive sport?

I'm not suggesting that we shut down all extra-curricular activities and throw out all modern toys. The truth is that there are conflicting voices on the ramifications of having children in a multitude of activities. Some have suggested that children can actually thrive in several activities, while others caution of the long-term effects or over-scheduling children. I'm not sure there will be clear-cut answers that fit each family and child. But, like a growing number of others, I am beginning to question some of the conventions of modern childhood.

We all want the best for our children. We want them to have all of the opportunities that perhaps we did not have as children. But somewhere along the line, let's make sure we aren't shortchanging them of childhood itself. When that brief time is over, it isn't something they will be able to find again... ever. So let them have days where they do nothing but explore the backyard or idle away hours constructing things out of paper and tape. Let them sword fight and play dress up. Let them be chldren for as long as they can.

A Taste of France

I recently discovered that Laduree's beautiful Sucre cookbook is finally available again online. The truth is that it is much too beautiful to be called a cookbook. Presented in a keepsake box that looks just like Laduree's iconic mint green gift boxes, the book has gold-lined pages and stunning pictures. Mind you, the recipes in the book are not for the faint of heart, but I just love the book for the pictures. It reminds me of all things French and all things beautiful.

If you have ever visited Paris, you may have seen their legendary flagship store on the Champs Elysees. They also have locations in very select cities around the world (London, Tokyo, Milan, etc.) In 2011, Laduree finally landed on North American shores... in New York City. Let me just say that if you have never tried a macaron from Laduree, it can best be described as a little taste of heaven. They are truly magnificent. They come in such other-worldly flavors like Rose Petal, Black Currant, Caramel with Salted Butter, Mango with Jasmine, Orange Blossom and Lily of the Valley. They will set you back $2.70 per cookie but are totally worth it! And of course, part of Laduree's appeal is in their exquisite presentation. Their pastries come boxed in their signature mint green gift boxes and tied with a ribbon. Each of their stores are graciously appointed. Marie Antoinette would have been pleased. In fact, Sofia Coppola featured Laduree's macarons in her stunning film Marie Antoinette. They have come to epitomize the exquisite heights of French pastry.

For a little taste of France online, visit the Laduree website.
Photo: Yuichi Sakuraba

Favors for a Summer Gathering

Summer is really upon us in full swing, and that means times for picnics and poolside gatherings! We usually think of favors only in terms of weddings and children's birthday parties. But they make a pleasant surprise for any get together, and you don't have to spend a lot of money to make favors everyone will love.

I love this idea for summer party favors from Martha Stewart. It is simple, pretty and healthy. All you need are a few small baskets which can be found at almost any craft store for less than a dollar a piece. Fill with fresh fruit, cellophane-wrapped cookies, scones or other treats. Create your own personalized tags and tie with twine for a rustic look. For a Fourth of July celebration, stick a miniature American flag in each basket. Your guests will love them!

Grace-Based Relationships

In his book Grace Based Parenting, Dr. Tim Kimmel states, "The primary word that defines how God deals with His children is grace." As such, grace should define how we as parents treat our children. To take it one step further, grace should be the crowning characteristic of the way we treat all people. But if you looked at your relationships, would grace be the first word to come into your mind?

If I were to be completely honest, most of my relationships are based on reciprocation, not on grace. A friend does something nice for me, and I want to do something kind for her. Other relationships are characterized by expectations. Work relationships and in-laws and often fall into this category.

But as Christians, as recipients of God's amazing grace, we are therefore to give grace back to others. Andy Stanley once preached a series of sermons on defining what it meant to be "Christian." Today, we usually define someone as a Christian based on what they believe. If someone agrees with a set of doctrines, they are considered Christian. But Andy Stanley suggested that first century Christians not so much based on doctrinal beliefs, but based on how they loved.

If grace defines our relationships, we would be quick to forgive, understanding that we have often wronged others as we feel they have wronged us. If grace characterizes the way we treat people, we would not hold grudges. Instead, we would treat others in the way we wish to be treated, not based on how they have treated us in the past. We would not be so quick to condemn. We would be quick to listen.

When it comes to our children, grace-based parenting is tricky business. For one thing, it means recognizing that parenting is a fluid thing, based on relationships with unique little people who have very different personalities. It isn't about a set of rules that promises to churn out obedient little creatures. If we treat our children with grace, it might sometimes mean that we will appear to be bad parents to other (more legalistic) parents. But parenting with grace means that we choose to respect our children and see them as the wonderful, unique creations for which God has His own purposes. I think it comes down to placing more trust in God than in ourselves to raise them into the men and women they are supposed to be.

And so, don't be afraid to let grace define your relationships. God is a God of grace, and when we extend grace to others, we are reflecting is character.

An Afternoon Repose

In our busy lives, it is sometimes hard to pause for even a moment in the day. We in America are especially prone to keep ourselves going at a dizzying pace because we carve out time to just relax. In many other cultures, there are built-in breaks during the day. If you travel to Spain, you will find that most restaurants and stores are closed for several hours during the afternoon for "Siesta." Workers return home for lunch with the family and a short nap before returning to work.

In England, the tradition of Afternoon Tea provides a respite in the midst of a busy day. Afternoon Tea was started by Anna Russell, Duchess of Bedford. She was a good friend of Queen Victoria. During the 18th century, dinner was often served as late as 8:00 p.m. There was a long period between lunch and dinner, and so she often got a "sinking feeling" right around 4:00 in the afternoon. During a stay at Belvoir Castle, she began requesting Darjeeling tea and small cakes or sandwiches to be sent to her room in the afternoon. She enjoyed it so much that she started to invite her friends to join her, and thus the tradition of afternoon tea was started.

Afternoon Tea is a wonderful way to relax and appreciate the beauty in each day. Everything about teatime is beautiful. From the china teacups to the petite sandwiches and delicate cakes, Afternoon Tea exudes elegance. And because a cup of tea takes some time to finish, it almost forces you to slow down and take pause. And you can experiment with taking tea in a variety of ways. During warm weather, have a glass of iced tea outside on the porch. This lovely setting from Tea Time Magazine captures the beauty of an alfresco setting. Add some edible flowers in your teacup. In the fall, add a cinnamon to some apple tea. In the wintertime, substitute tea for hot chocolate with a dollop of whipped cream.

Psalm 23:5 says, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil, my cup overflows." So when you drink your cup of tea, think of the many ways in which God has made "your cup overflow." Name your blessings. God has promised to bless you so that you will always have more than you need and enough to give to others.

For Afternoon tea recipes, table settings and inspiration, visit Tea Time Magazine.

What is True Beauty?

Audrey Hepburn, one of the most fashionable and beautiful women to grace the silver screen, loved the poem "Time-Tested Beauty Tips." In fact, the poem is often attributed to her, but was actually written by Sam Levenson, and describes the sort of beauty that doesn't come from the right clothes and makeup, but from the character of a woman.

TIME TESTED BEAUTY TIPS

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.

The Bible also teaches us about a woman’s true beauty. I Peter tell us that a woman's beauty comes from her internal qualities and do not fade with time.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." (I Peter 3:3-6) In this passage, Peter is not saying that we are forbidden from braiding our hair or wearing jewelry, but that our beauty does not come from external aids. Our efforts towards becoming truly beautiful should be focused on developing a spirit that is full of gentleness, trust, integrity and courage. And that is the sort of beauty that will last through the passage of time.

Saying Grace vs. Speaking Grace

When we pray before meals, we sometimes call it "Saying Grace." But recently, I started thinking about the difference between saying grace and speaking grace.

Have you ever thought about how you would sound if someone secretly followed you around and recorded everything you said, and then played it back to you? Well, our children are sometimes like little tape recorders. I recently heard one of my boys scolding his younger brother and it occurred to me that he sounded just like me. Only I didn't like it so much hearing it from his mouth. I started to wonder what messages I am communicating to my children with my words. Sadly, they have not always been gracious words.

Often many of the words that come out of my mouth are words of correction and negative statements. "Don't run down the stairs so fast!" "Don't push your brother." They are often conditional statements. "If you don't do your homework now, you will not be allowed to play video games for a week." "We will not go outside to play unless you first pick up your toys."

Colossians 4:6 instructs us to speak words of grace, in fact to always speak graciously. "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." God is full of grace, which means that if His Spirit lives is us, we will reflect grace. God's grace means that He loves and gives without putting conditions on us. We don't have to do anything to make Him love us. So we too should love without making people jump through hoops. The words that God speaks to us through the Bible are words of encouragement. And when He corrects us, He doesn't beat us over the head with how horrible we are. Instead, his correction always includes the hope for change and is what leads us to repentance. So our words should be words that encourage and empower our children, not make them shrink back in fear and condemnation.

I'd like to say that I've been able to change all of my words to be more gracious, but it is an ongoing process and struggle for me each day. The first thing to pop into my head is usually the exact opposite of graciousness. But it is my prayer that over time, God will enable me to always (or more often than not) speak words that reflect His grace and are an encouragement to those who hear them.

Queen Victoria and the Role of Women

This June marks the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, and as I think back on England's royals, I can't help but remark on my favorite queen of all, Queen Victoria. She has continued to have a special place in English memory as well as in popular culture across the shores here in America. Most recently, she was played by Emily Blunt in the strikingly beautiful film Young Victoria.

Queen Victoria reigned for over 63 years (the longest reign of any British monarch). During that time, the British Empire experienced great expansion and progress which paralleled the technological, economical and social advances of the Industrial Revolution. Victoria's reign also saw the rise of the middle class and changing roles for women. Among Victoria’s greatest contributions was her promoting a culture of domesticity and family life. She was a model of morality, and a striking contrast to the regents that preceded her. Although she was Sovereign, she celebrated her role as wife and mother. Her marriage to Albert was a happy one and they had nine children together. The public often saw her out and about with her family, and she soon came to represent a feminine ideal for women to emulate.

The home was hailed as the center of a woman’s moral universe, and a symbol of her feminine capabilities. Coventry Patmore’s "The Angel in the House" eulogized the Victorian wife and homemaker and set up an ideal for women to emulate. Homemaking was no longer mundane drudgery but re-envisioned as the means by which a woman fulfilled her God-given calling. The Victorian era in many ways created the feminine ideal of a woman as wife, mother and homemaker. Although later generations of women would question a woman's role in the home, it was a welcome and notable change for women during Victoria's reign.

Live Your Best Life Now

To live graciously, we must live unhurriedly. For our soul’s sake, as well as the lives of those we love, we need to make room for life. Part of this may be taking a good hard look at your schedule and pruning down any unnecessary activities. But perhaps even more important, it is about slowing down the pace of your own hearts and mind to stop and enjoy all that you have been given. Make time for yourself and for your soul. Take time to talk to your husband and to sit on the floor with your children. Savor the moment you are living in and be present in the present. Realize that today can never be relived. Make sure that you enjoy your own life today. Today is all that you can truly grasp. As pressing as tomorrow’s needs may be, they can only be addressed in the future. Frederick Buechner wrote in his book Listening to Your Life:

"You are seeing everything for the last time, and everything you see is gilded with goodbyes…. Today now everything will pass because it is the last day. For the last time you are seeing this rain fall and in your mind that snow, this child asleep, this cat. For the last time you are hearing this house come alive because you who are part of its life have come alive. All the unkept promises if they are ever to be kept have to be kept today. All the unspoken words if you do not speak them today will never be spoken. The people, the ones you love and the ones who bore you to death, all the life you have in you to live with them, if you do not live it with them today, it will never be lived. It is the first day because it has never been before and the last day because it will never be again. Be alive if you can all through this today of your life. What’s to be done? Follow your feet. Put on the coffee. Start the orange juice, the bacon, the toast. Then go wake up your children and your husband. Think about the work of your hands, the book that of all conceivable things you have chosen to add to the world’s pain. Live in the needs of the day."

And so, live your life fully each day. Embrace the people you love. Forgive those who have hurt you. Invest your life and resources in people. Make it your aim to live life without regrets. Make each moment count, remembering that what you do today continues on into eternity and means something to God and to other people.

Setting a Beautiful Table

It is so easy to rush off a meal each day and never think of how we present our food. After all, table settings are reserved for occasional parties and formal gatherings. But every day mealtimes with our families can be something special if we put a little extra effort into the details. And it doesn't have to be expensive either. Pick some fresh flowers or branches from your yard and put it in little bud vases. Add a lemon to a glass of water. Use vintage linens and glassware for a touch of whimsy and charm.

Even if you only serve cereal and milk for breakfast, you can make your presentation beautiful. Try serving milk in a glass container. I found this glass milk bottle at World Market for only $5.99! It has beautiful blue French lettering and holds over a liter of milk. You can print any image on burlap by using image transfer paper that can be found at most craft stores. I wanted a French image on the placemats and I found one already made to be transfered at The Graphics Fairy, a phenomenal blog with a treasure trove of free images that you can use for your own crafty projects!

As you can see, it doesn't have to take a lot of money or effort to set a beautiful table. All it takes is a little thought and the heart to do it.

Celebrate Spring with Peter Rabbit

Last Spring, I hosted a "Celebrate Spring" party with a Peter Rabbit theme. We set up a table outside in the backyard and the kids all had deviled eggs, quartered sandwiches, and cupcakes. The cute little garden carts and cupcake picks made it so simple to decorate otherwise plain white cupcakes. All of the lovely paper goods were from Meri Meri. They carry a whole line of party goods, including cupcake boxes, cupcake picks, plates, cups and napkins. Around Easter time, most stores carry a bunch of Peter Rabbit items. I picked up boxed Peter Rabbit chocolates as favors.

We had been reading the Peter Rabbit stories together as a family, and I thought it would be a great tribute to the mischievious little bunny. I really love the quiet pace of Beatrix Potter's books and the beautiful illustrations of the English countryside. To me, Peter Rabbit captures the spirit of childhood and all of its wonderful moments which we so often miss in the hurried pace of life. To discover more about the beautiful world that Beatrix Potter created, visit the official Peter Rabbit website.

Susanna Wesley : An Example of a Godly Mother

I am challenged each day to be a more gracious mother. Some days I feel like I fail more than I succeed. My temper runs short. I am focused more on changing my children's external behavior instead of their growing love in their hearts. I find it encouraging to read about other mothers who have successfully raised children to make a positive impact on the world. Susanna Wesley is one such example.

John and Charles Wesley are probably two of the most prominent Christian revivalists in history. Peruse any church hymnal and you will find the words of Charles Wesley. He alone penned over five and a half thousand hymns. The two brothers are credited with founding the Methodist movement in the 18th century. They were raised by a remarkable woman named Susanna Wesley, and her instruction and godly example found a way to outlive her own children. In fact, Susanna’s two famous sons structured much of the Methodist movement after what they had learned from her at home.

As might be expected of a woman who is sometimes called “The Mother of Methodism,” Susanna kept a well-ordered home, even with ten children! She was strict with her children and taught them diligently. Mealtimes and bedtimes were carefully observed, and she taught the children to be responsible and respectful. She homeschooled all of her children, with the ultimate goal of their salvation. As each child turned five years of age, he began his studies. She required them to learn their alphabet on the first day. All of the children, even the girls, learned Latin and Greek among other classical subjects. Her homeschool day lasted about six hours. Each child also had household chores and learned to obey the rules of the home.

Susanna was genuinely concerned with her children’s spiritual walk. She spent each morning before they rose in personal Bible study and prayer. Sometimes, because it was difficult for her to find a private place in a house full of so many children, Susanna sat at the kitchen table with her apron covering her head. Her children knew not to disturb her when they saw her like that. She lead the family in singing hymns afterwards. She also made appointments with each of her children for one-on-one discussion and encouragement. As she had so many children, one child was scheduled on each day of the week. She devoted an entire hour to the child, and conversed with him about meaningful issues like his faith, fears and hopes for the future.

Even when her children were grown and had moved out of the family home, Susanna continued praying for and encouraging them. When John Wesley left home, he requested that his mother continue her weekly hour with him. As they could not speak face to face, she used John’s appointed hour by writing him letters. Her letters were filled with matters of faith and doctrine. Some of what she wrote came out of her personal commentaries that she wrote in her own devotional times. She wrote insightful letters not only to John but to her other children as well.

Susanna also overcame a life of hardship and trial, and was an example of strength and perseverance. Out of the 19 children she bore, only ten survived. Her marriage, though it lasted 44 years, was fraught with struggles. Her husband was frequently away on travel, and managed the household finances poorly. The family suffered poverty and illness. They also experienced the loss of earthly possessions, as fire ravaged their house twice. In one of the fires, five year-old John nearly lost his life. But Susanna’s faith in God remained strong, and she bravely lead her household to trust in their Redeemer during times of tribulation.

Susanna Wesley left a legacy through her children that impacted the world around them. Her sons John and Charles were used by God to win tens of thousands of souls. The Methodist movement burned like a fire through England and America, and continues even today.

Samuel Wesley once wrote to his children, “You know what you owe to one of the best of mothers...above all (for) the wholesome and sweet motherly advice and counsel which she has often given you to fear God…” She offered her life as an example of a godly mother whose counsel and encouragement impacted her children for eternity. Susanna Wesley died at the age of 73, surrounded by several of her children. “Children, as soon as I am released,” she whispered, “Sing a psalm of praise to God.” She was buried at Bunhill Fields and her son John conducted her funeral service. Charles wrote the epitaph. Among the verses he wrote were the words: “In sure and steadfast hope to rise, and claim her mansion in the skies, A Christian here her flesh laid down, the cross exchanging for a crown.”

What is a Gracious Woman?

When I think of what it means to be a gracious woman, I sometimes picture fashionable Southern ladies sipping tea on a porch. I imagine someone who knows the right thing to say at all times. I think of manners, elegance and style.

But being a gracious woman is much more than just etiquette and poise. It begins by saying yes to God's calling for our lives as Christian women. Did you know that God cares about every area of our lives? He wants us to be an expression of His grace, from how we love our husbands to the manner in which we raise our children or how we perform at our jobs. As we begin to recognize and understand the significance of what we do as women, even the everyday tasks that we put our hands to can become infused with new meaning and purpose.

In particular, our lives will reflect three main principles: order, kindness and beauty. A gracious woman is a woman of order. Psalm 50:23b tells us that "to him who orders his way aright, I shall show the salvation of God." God wants us to live an orderly life, not a chaotic one. It begins with having a respect for the way things should be, and having the personal discipline needed to live an ordered life.

Secondly, a gracious woman is kind. Colossians 3:12 says, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." We are to be covered in kindness! Our world is a harsh one. Most people don't have time for a kind word, much less for a civil one at times. A gracious woman is kind and has a genuine concern for other people.

Finally, a gracious woman is beautiful from the inside out. 1 Peter 3:4 tells us that as Christian women, we are to have an "unfading beauty that is of great worth in God's sight." True beauty is a reflection of goodness and the joy of living that God wants us all to experience.

Photo: N.L.